I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
