i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
