I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
