no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
