your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
