yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was confusing and full of hummus
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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