Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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