I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's get the cat blown out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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