so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
