I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I believe in your delicious
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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