Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you win again, gameday.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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