Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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