We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
