well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
