Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I will die if light touches me.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
