we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
True strength comes from lack of pants
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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