i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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