So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
