please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
