Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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