I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You did what with his pubic hair?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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