Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
