those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
