Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
