We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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