I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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