I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
