yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
