we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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