Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
