that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
