i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
