his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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