Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
