I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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