How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
