either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
