I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
