Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Randomize
