I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize