he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
