Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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