I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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