hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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