And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
