so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
