Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
