Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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