you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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