I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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