this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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